Well here I am...I made it to the new year. Technically of course it's an old year now, I was late as usual...what can I say, I like to make an entrance!

So thanks to all the viagra and poker online (there's a connection there I can just tell, but it's too disturbing to contemplate) spammers who have kept my tag board alive and well while I was gone. Yep, most appreciated...now piss off and don't do it again!

Thanks also to the REAL people who have tagged me in my absence..you guys rock!

And just so you know I haven't lost my sense of humour since 2004 left and 2005 entered...here are a few headlines you may or may not like to see in the new year, courtesy of Kerry Cue. Who you may or may not know is an Adelaide journalist and quite a good one I may add!

New Sign Proposed For Suburban Speed Zones: Buggered If We Know Either.

McDonald's Customer Asks For Upsize Salad. Employee Faints.

iPod Owner Dies Before Hearing Full Play List.

Hollywood Scandal: Celebrity Confesses – I Haven't Had Sex With Paris Hilton.

Man Falls Into XXX Large Latte And Drowns.

New Hair Colour Discovered: Your Own.

Buy Full Tank Of Petrol. Get Car Free.

Crocodile Mauls Steve Irwin. Actually Improves His Haircut.

After $10m Research New Toothbrush Looks Identical To Old Toothbrush

Disney Prequels For 2005: Bambi's Mother Is Alive, Pinocchio Just A Bit Of Wood and Nemo's Still Here.

Latin Dancing Gene Discovered With Fake Tan Wrapped Around Other Genes.

Ten Commandments Revised To Ten Lifestyle Options.

New Personal Digital Assistant Camera Phone Shock: So Complicated No One Can Turn It On.

Spider-Man's Affair With Catwoman Produces Web-Firing Superhero Who Won't Get Out Of Your Chair.

Green Shopping Bags Prove More Environmentally Friendly Than Non-Green Shopping Bags.

Rod Stewart Marries Short, Flat-chested Brunette: Blames New Glasses.

Celebrity Chef Subdued With Capsicum Spray. Garnished With Coriander.

Medical Breakthrough: Doctor On Time For Patient's Appointment.

New Anti-Wrinkle Cream So Effective Women Shrink Three Sizes.

Obese Find A Way To Improve Health Statistics: Just Eat More Statisticians.

It's Official: Baby Boomers No Longer Babies (despite prevalence of chubby cheeks and bald heads and a good deal of blubbering and whining).

X-ray Proves Rugby Player Has No Neck.

Singing Detective Shot: Colleagues Suspected.

Kill Bill III: The Autopsy.

Big Brother Contestant Uses Two-Syllable Word.

Woman Manages To Find Ringing Mobile Phone In Handbag.

Women Discover New Sex Toy that Doesn't Need Batteries: Men (But warranty is limited).

Boxster Porsche Driver Looks Humble.

Cane Toad Solution Found: New Topping For Pizza (Will be called the Croakacosa).

New Turquoise Ribbon Day To Raise Awareness of Ribbon Days.

Politicians Agree On Something.

Football Star's Groin Injury Fails To Destroy Western Civilisation As First Suspected.

Extreme Pet Makeover For Labradors: Get Two Chihuahuas.