Since it's Anzac Day, and since I've had a request from a loyal reader, I thought I would make this rant about the wonderful yet disspearing aussie language.

If you have a copy of the new Macquarie ABC Dictionary handy, you'll know by now - assuming that you enjoy mooching around in a dictionary like me - that in recent years the ABC and Macquarie have joined forces to create a collection of regionalisms known as the Australian Word Map database.

Their argument is simple: Australia's language is so rich, and the people who listen to the ABC are so committed, that with a little effort you can find out the variations in language from one side of the continent to the other. For example, did you know that those odious 4WDs, which never get dirty and are status symbols in suburbs of ineffable pretentiousness, are known as "Dalkeith tractors" in Perth, "Kenmore tractors" in Brisbane, "Burnside buses" in Adelaide, "Toorak tractors" in Melbourne and, because they are more pretentious than the rest of Australia put together, as "Balmain bulldozers", "Double Bay tractors", "Bronte buggies", "Mosman tractors" and "Turramurra tractors" in Sydney?

This is all very entertaining, but is it really correct? It seems to me that true Australianisms, those expressions which some people now call "bush" or "regional" Australian, are rapidly disappearing.

What has happened? Certainly globalisation has produced some significant changes. Australians used to go to "the pictures" or "the fillums" in smelly old picture theatres. Today, "picture theatre" has virtually disappeared, to be replaced by the anonymous "multiplex" and certainly we talk about The Movie Show on SBS and "going to the movies".

Globalisation has also had a huge impact in terms of television and mass media. Arthur Daley and Alf Garnett made East End English commonplace. Fran Fine made a virtue of the peculiar accent of a working class Jewish girl from Queens. The Beverly Hillbillies taught the world how to speak like a resident of the Ozark Mountains. Father Ted and Ballykissangel liberated vernacular Irish from the hands of the "top o' the morning to ye" stage Irishman. Billy Connolly made the language of the Glasgow docks commonplace. The Beatles made a Liverpudlian Scouse accent a sign of hipness and Rolf Harris taught the world what a true Australian accent sounded like.

Then there are the Americanisms.There is a lot of evidence that, in certain areas, Americanisms have won favour. "You guys", an expression now commonly used in Australia to describe groups of men and women, is obviously from America.

There are quaint spellings: jail is now the accepted orthodoxy rahter than Gaol, and increasingly we see "color" and "labor". There are odd pronunciations: It is now Australian English to pronounce schedule as "skedule" and the last letter in the alphabet as "zee".

Increasingly Australian children are referring to biscuits as cookies (probably as a result of Sesame Street) and, largely due to movies and rap records, teenage boys have adopted "motherf---er" as their obscenity of choice, and "ho" (African American slang for whore) and "bitch" have largely replaced slut, moll and slag as terms of abuse for women.

Then there are the historic factors. Language is dynamic and consequently expressions that are widely accepted and commonplace for one generation will disappear when circumstances change. No one today talks about "a cup of tea, a Bex and a good lie down" partly because Bex (a form of powdered aspirin) does not enjoy the popularity it did in the 1950s.

"He's just shot through like a Bondi tram" was doomed when the tram tracks along Oxford Street were ripped up; so was "couldn't work in an iron lung" when more modern medical equipment replaced the cure-all for polio.

Similarly, the terms "bodgie" and "widgie" have disappeared as teenage fashion has moved on from the greasy, sideburned Elvis look and girls with high heels and rope petticoats. "Boofhead", a term of affection for particular male stupidity, was never really going to last beyond its resonant association and origin, with the Boofhead cartoon that first appeared in the Daily Mirror in the 1940s.

Mercifully, we have reached a point where we no longer seek endless euphemisms for public toilets or lavatories. The days when the male/female toilet options were Dave and Mabel, Hens and Roosters, Stallions and Mares are gone - happily replaced by simple Men and Women signs.

Perhaps one historic explanation for these huge changes is the overt multiculturalism of modern Australia. Distinctive Australian expressions were handed on from one generation to the next, which is why some quite antique expressions ("drongo" comes from the horse of that name which, back in the 1920s, never won a race) persisted beyond their natural life. However the huge immigration in the 1950s changed Australian society so dramatically that there were large numbers of people who did not know the local vernacular.

There is no reason why a first generation Australian-Greek or Australian-Italian father would pick up a word like "drongo" and pass it on to his children. This, however, doesn't explain why "youse" (as in Jeff Fenech's famous "I loves youse all") has risen in popularity to a point where it is now almost acceptable in spoken Australian as the plural "you".

A more subtle, but hugely important, influence has been the gradual feminisation of Australian urban society. Expressions that reflected a very "Aussie male" view of the world have started to disappear simply because they are just not seen as the way a modern person would address an issue or a member of the opposite sex. "Sheila" is probably the best example of a relatively neutral term which, by the 1970s, had become a quite negative expression. And it would be a very brave Australian male who, seeing his partner dressed out in haute couture, would now declare that she was "all dressed up like a pox doctor's clerk".

Yet some wonderfully resonant Australianisms have disappeared. Take "possie" (as in "I'll look for a possie to park the car while you go into the supermarket"); "blue" (as in "He got into a real blue last night and there was blood everywhere") and "jiffy" for a moment in time.

Joining them in obscurity are "a fat" for an erection, "burl" as in the delightful expression of optimism "let's give it a burl", "moola" for money, "clapped out" for something long beyond its use-by date, "stone the crows" (an expression of amazement and an impossibility, if you think about it), "donkey's years" for a very long period of time, "Buckley's chance" in the sense of very little likelihood, and "raving ratbag" for all wild-eyed purveyors of crazy ideas.

Perhaps the greatest tragedy has been the decline in the subtle way we used to structure Australian English. This is not an issue of either words or accent, but rather of expressions: "What's the chance of" instead of "Can I please have", "Not a patch on" as a comparative in the sense "it's not nearly as good as" and "I'll bend over backwards" which wasn't an invitation to sexual gymnastics but rather a willingness to make a very special effort.

When did you last hear someone tell you "to go to billy-o"? When were you last in competition with someone who said, "I bags that one"? Does anyone now say "fair dinkum"? Apart, of course, from professional Aussies such as Paul Hogan and Steve Irwin. Or Roy and H.G. who know how to mine that particular seam of nostalgia and turn old gold into new irony?

Linguists are starting to recognise that all that is left of Australian English is a rural-regional divide with rural Australians holding on to many of the elements of historic vernacular that city folk regard (and avoid) with considerable disdain. Still, rural Australia's "rawer" language is not so embedded - as, say a Mancunian or Liverpudlian accent is - that it can't be quickly dropped when people from regional areas move to the city. A few decades ago a distinctly Australian English was on the brink of entrenching itself and, for a variety of reasons, it has largely disappeared.

Like most of the changes that have occurred over the past 50 years it still seems that this huge linguistic shift is, more than anything else, a product of the very history of Australia. We didn't have long enough - and we didn't have a large enough population - to embed an authentically Australian vernacular before the age of mass media and mass communication.

But for those of us who miss the Australian way of speaking, and especially that great Aussie adjective, "bloody", There really is no substitute for such resonant linguistic uniqueness as C.J. Dennis, and W.T woodge. Read their work below and I bet theres not one of you who can't say Aussie Aussie Aussie, OIY OIY OIY after it.
Strewth mate!

A Marching Song
Air - Onward Christian Soldiers

Fellers of Australier,
   Blokes an' coves an' coots,
Shift yer --- carcases,
   Move yer --- boots.
Gird yer --- loins up,
   Get yer --- gun,
Set the --- enermy
   An' watch the blighters run.

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on,
      Have some --- sense.
   Learn the --- art of
      Self de- --- -fence.

Have some --- brains be-
   Neath yer --- lids.
An' swing a --- sabre
   Fer the missus an' the kids.
Chuck supportin' --- posts,
   An' strikin' --- lights,
Support a ---- fam'ly an'
   Strike fer yer --- rights.

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on, etc.

Joy is --- fleetin',
   Life is --- short.
Wot's the use uv wastin' it
   All on --- sport?
Hitch yer --- tip-dray
   To a --- star.
Let yer --- watchword be
   "Australi- --- -ar!"

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on, etc.

'0w's the --- nation
   Goin' to ixpand
'Lest us --- blokes an' coves
   Lend a --- 'and?
'Eave yer --- apathy
   Down a --- chasm;
'Ump yer --- burden with
   Enthusi- --- -asm.

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on, etc.

W'en old mother Britain
   Calls yer native land
Take a --- rifle
   In yer --- 'and
Keep yer --- upper lip
   Stiff as stiff kin be,
An' speed a --- bullet for
   Post- --- -ity.

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on, etc.

W'en the --- bugle
   Sounds "Ad- --- -vance"
Don't be like a flock er sheep
   In a --- trance
Biff the --- Kaiser
   Where it don't agree
Spifler- --- -cate him
   To Eternity.

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on, etc.

Fellers of Australier,
   Cobbers, chaps an' mates,
Hear the --- German
   Kickin' at the gates!
Blow the --- bugle,
   Beat the --- drum,
Upper-cut an' out the cow
   To kingdom- --- -come!

CHORUS:
   Get a --- move on,
      Have some --- sense.
   Learn the --- art of
      Self de- --- -fence.

Footnote to 1915 reissue - Where a dash (---) replaces a missing word, the adjective "blessed" may be interpolated. In cases demanding great emphasis, the use of the word "blooming" is permissible. However, any other word may be used that suggests itself as suitable.

"Den"
The Bulletin, 12 November 1908, Red page

The Sentimental Bloke

by C. J. Dennis

Wot’s in a name?-- she sez . . . An' then she sighs,
An' clasps 'er little 'ands, an' rolls 'er eyes.
"A rose," she sez, "be any other name
Would smell the same.
Oh, w'erefore art you Romeo, young sir?
Chuck yer ole pot, an' change yer moniker!"

Doreen an' me, we bin to see a show--
The swell two-dollar touch. Bong tong, yeh know.
A chair apiece wiv velvit on the seat;
A slap-up treat.
The drarmer's writ be Shakespeare, years ago,
About a barmy goat called Romeo.

"Lady, be yonder moon I swear!" sez 'e.
An' then 'e climbs up on the balkiney;
An' there they smooge a treat, wiv pretty words
Like two love-birds.
I nudge Doreen. She whispers, "Ain't it grand!"
'Er eyes is shining an' I squeeze 'er 'and.

'Wot's in a name?" she sez. 'Struth, I dunno.
Billo is just as good as Romeo.
She may be Juli-er or Juli-et--
'E loves 'er yet.
If she's the tart 'e wants, then she's 'is queen,
Names never count . . . But ar, I like "Doreen!"

A sweeter, dearer sound I never 'eard;
Ther's music 'angs around that little word,
Doreen! . . . But wot was this I starts to say
About the play?
I'm off me beat. But when a bloke's in love
'Is thorts turns 'er way, like a 'omin' dove.

This Romeo 'e's lurkin' wiv a crew--
A dead tough crowd o' crooks--called Montague.
'Is cliner's push--wot's nicknamed Capulet--
They 'as 'em set.
Fair narks they are, jist like them back-street clicks,
Ixcep' they fights wiv skewers 'stid o' bricks.

Wot's in a name? Wot's in a string o' words?
They scraps in ole Verona wiv the'r swords,
An' never give a bloke a stray dog's chance,
An' that's Romance.
But when they deals it out wiv bricks an' boots
In Little Lon., they're low, degraded broots.

Wot's jist plain stoush wiv us, right 'ere to-day,
Is "valler" if yer fur enough away.
Some time, some writer bloke will do the trick
Wiv Ginger Mick, Of Spadger's Lane.
'E'll be a Romeo,
When 'e's bin dead five 'undred years or so.

Fair Juli-et, she gives 'er boy the tip.
Sez she: "Don't sling that crowd o' mine no lip;
An' if you run agin a Capulet,
Jist do a get."
'E swears 'e's done wiv lash; 'e'll chuck it clean.
(Same as I done when I first met Doreen.)

They smooge some more at that. Ar, strike me blue!
It gimme Joes to sit an' watch them two! '
E'd break away an' start to say good-bye,
An' then she'd sigh
"Ow, Ro-me-o!" an' git a strangle-holt,
An' 'ang around 'im like she feared 'e'd bolt.

Nex' day 'e words a gorspil cove about
A secret weddin'; an' they plan it out.
'E spouts a piece about 'ow 'e's bewitched:
Then they git 'itched . . .
Now, 'ere's the place where I fair git the pip!
She's 'is for keeps, an' yet 'e lets 'er slip!

Ar! but 'e makes me sick! A fair gazob!
E's jist the glarsey on the soulful sob,
'E'll sigh and spruik, a’ ‘owl a love-sick vow--
(The silly cow!)
But when 'e's got 'er, spliced an' on the straight
'E crools the pitch, an' tries to kid it's Fate.

Aw! Fate me foot! Instid of slopin' soon
As 'e was wed, off on 'is 'oneymoon,
'Im an' 'is cobber, called Mick Curio,
They 'ave to go
An' mix it wiv that push o' Capulets.
They look fer trouble; an' it's wot they gets.

A tug named Tyball (cousin to the skirt)
Sprags 'em an' makes a start to sling off dirt.
Nex' minnit there's a reel ole ding-dong go—
'Arf round or so.
Mick Curio, 'e gets it in the neck,
"Ar rats!" 'e sez, an' passes in 'is check.

Quite natchril, Romeo gits wet as 'ell.
"It's me or you!" 'e 'owls, an' wiv a yell,
Plunks Tyball through the gizzard wiv 'is sword,
'Ow I ongcored! "Put in the boot!" I sez. "Put in the boot!"
"'Ush!" sez Doreen . . . "Shame!" sez some silly coot.

Then Romeo, 'e dunno wot to do.
The cops gits busy, like they allwiz do,
An' nose around until 'e gits blue funk
An' does a bunk.
They wants 'is tart to wed some other guy.
"Ah, strike!" she sez. "I wish that I could die!"

Now, this 'ere gorspil bloke's a fair shrewd 'ead.
Sez 'e "I'll dope yeh, so they'll think yer dead."
(I tips 'e was a cunnin' sort, wot knoo
A thing or two.)
She takes 'is knock-out drops, up in 'er room:
They think she's snuffed, an' plant 'er in 'er tomb.

Then things gits mixed a treat an' starts to whirl.
'Ere's Romeo comes back an' finds 'is girl
Tucked in 'er little coffing, cold an' stiff,
An' in a jiff,
'E swallows Iysol, throws a fancy fit,
'Ead over turkey, an' 'is soul 'as flit.

Then Juli-et wakes up an' sees 'im there,
Tums on the water-works an' tears 'er 'air,
"Dear love," she sez, "I cannot live alone!"
An' wiv a moan, She grabs 'is pockit knife, an' ends 'er cares . . .
"Peanuts or lollies!" sez a boy upstairs.
 

THE GREAT AUSTRALIAN ADJECTIVE by W.T. Goodge
The sunburnt ---- stockman stood
And, in a dismal ---- mood,
   Apostrophized his ---- cuddy;
"The ---- nag's no ---- good,
He couldn't earn his ---- food -
   A regular ---- brumby,
                     ----!"

He jumped across the ---- horse
And cantered off, of ---- course!
   The roads were bad and ---- muddy;
Said he, "Well, spare me ---- days
The ---- Government's ---- ways
   Are screamin' ---- funny,
                     ----!"

He rode up hill, down ---- dale,
The wind it blew a ---- gale,
   The creek was high and ---- floody.
Said he, "The ---- horse must swim,
The same for ---- me and him,
   Is something ---- sickenin',
                     ----!"

He plunged into the ---- creek,
The ---- horse was ---- weak,
   The stockman's face a ---- study!
And though the ---- horse was drowned
The ---- rider reached the ground
   Ejaculating, "----!"
                     "----!"

"The Colonel"
Bulletin, 11 December 1898, p26

Note:
This poem was originally published under the title "----!" (The Great Australian Adjective).

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